Psalm 38 (CSB)
A psalm of David to bring remembrance.
1 LORD, do not punish me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath.
2 For your arrows have sunk into me, and your hand has pressed down on me.
3 There is no soundness in my body because of your indignation; there is no health in my bones because of my sin.
4 For my iniquities have flooded over my head; they are a burden too heavy for me to bear.
5 My wounds are foul and festering because of my foolishness.
6 I am bent over and brought very low; all day long I go around in mourning.
7 For my insides are full of burning pain, and there is no soundness in my body.
8 I am faint and severely crushed; I groan because of the anguish of my heart.
9 Lord, my every desire is in front of you; my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart races, my strength leaves me, and even the light of my eyes has faded.
11 My loved ones and friends stand back from my affliction, and my relatives stand at a distance.
12 Those who intend to kill me set traps, and those who want to harm me threaten to destroy me; they plot treachery all day long.
13 I am like a deaf person; I do not hear. I am like a speechless person who does not open his mouth.
14 I am like a man who does not hear and has no arguments in his mouth.
15 For I put my hope in you, LORD; you will answer me, my Lord, my God.
16 For I said, “Don’t let them rejoice over me— those who are arrogant toward me when I stumble.”
17 For I am about to fall, and my pain is constantly with me.
18 So I confess my iniquity; I am anxious because of my sin.
19 But my enemies are vigorous and powerful; many hate me for no reason.
20 Those who repay evil for good attack me for pursuing good.
21 LORD, do not abandon me; my God, do not be far from me.
22 Hurry to help me, my Lord, my salvation.
I will never forget
- the moment
- when I stood
- and asked for help.
I was being tormented
- and persecuted
- for the sake of sin
- and I have always been low
- because of other people's sin.
But those people
- who are not my enemies
- are not in my control.
When I stood
- and I begged,
- "They keep doing this to me,
- help me to control myself
- help me to cease
- giving myself
- the permission to sin
- against the Holy God."
- and only then
- did you send help
- you answered my cries
- and you begun the healing
- and the renewing of the mind.
Even in the midst of your presence
- I got frightened
- as a wounded dog
- and I ran
- because I did not know
- what I was going to do
- or how painful it was going to be.
- you did not stop
- you did not flinch
- you pursue me
- you sought me out
- when i ran from your sweet love.
And you captured me
- and you continued your work.
- could have done this.
- Only you,
- could have set me free
- Only you,
- could have loved me
- in the way that I needed the most.
- write your word
- upon my heart
- and seal it with your Spirit
- and purchase me with your Som
- and make me like your child.
- do not lose me
I adore you
- now and always.