Chapter 25 Of Marriage

Table of Contents

25.1 From the Bridegroom: Marriage is Between One Man & One Woman

Marriage is to be between one man and one woman; neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband at the same time.

Genesis 2:24 (CSB) This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

Malachi 2:15 (CSB) Didn’t God make them one and give them a portion of spirit? What is the one seeking? Godly offspring. So watch yourselves carefully, so that no one acts treacherously against the wife of his youth.

Within the last decade, with the social media going into full swing, all the experts and the all the pundits--that is, anybody with the ability to string a few words together as sentence--speaking up not in a "this is merely my opinion" but rather, in a tone that needs to come across strong and firm as though it is an absolute fact. Facebook stays in business with these kind of voices. Opinion as facts is how FOX news sways most of Evangelicals. But I digress.

Listen, let me not sit upon my judgment throne casting judgment upon everyone else. I was just as bad as anybody. That all changed in 2016 when I decide to stop arguing and debating online.

It has led to a life of peace.

One time--a moment I instantly regret--was the oft mentioned phase online, "Jesus Christ never spoke about marriage only being between a man and a woman." One, tell us you don't read the Bible without telling us you don't read the Bible. Two, for giggles, I commented on one "Jesus never spoke on marriage" with a simple response:

"What about..."

Matthew 19:5–6 (CSB) and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

And to which I sincerely wish I was making up the next part but I am not. A person simply retorted, in that "opinion as fact" tone:

"Well, Jesus never marriage was not not between a man and another man."


My pastor spoke in passing about 1689 Chapter 25 with this food for thought, "Given our day and age, would this chapter be written in such a way to give stronger wording on the definition of marriage?" My instincts thought, "Surely."

But then I study this chapter and now engaged with it and submit my thoughts on it. And I say this: I think the chapter is strong enough as is.

Because if I know philosophy (which I pretend I do) and can see where the next shift in culture is going, I think the definition of marriage is going to be very least of our worries. The world would have moved on in a futile attempt to upend anything remotely resembling God-sourced morals and ethics.

Try as the world might, the law of God still stands pointing out the incredible fact that we have all sinned mightily in all areas of our lives--especially including marriage--by what Christ declared to be perfect.

But as I have said it once, I will say it a million more: we are not saved from our depravity, wickedness, sinfulness, and evilness by twisting the law and scripture of God!

Why do we do that? To what? Give a moment of relieve in our sin? To breathe a sigh of relief that we can keep doing what we are doing and it doesn't offend God because I said it doesn't offend God?

Make it make sense. Who is God? God is not your dad or mom or your teacher or your elected leader or your neighbor or your kids? In our extremely political correct world, no one in the right mind would declare that "what I do should not offend you". But the world does it. And therefore, we declare to God as we are gods telling him what he should think, act, and feel:

Psalms 82:6 (CSB) I said, “You are gods;
you are all sons of the Most High.

How is that going to go for us?

Psalms 82:7-8 (CSB) However, you will die like humans
and fall like any other ruler.”
Rise up, God, judge the earth,
for all the nations belong to you.

The solution is not twist Scripture like Satan does.

The solution is look up on the risen Christ and you will be saved from your sins!

Believe in the only begotten Son of God and you will always be saved from your sins and from your perishing.

25.2 From the Bridegroom: Goodness for Husband & Wife

Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife, for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and the preventing of uncleanness.

Genesis 2:18 (CSB) Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

Genesis 1:28 (CSB) God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth.”

1 Corinthians 7:2–9 (CSB) But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman should have sexual relations with her own husband. A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were as I am. But each has his own gift from God, one person has this gift, another has that. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, since it is better to marry than to burn with desire.

So to that end, we don't need to expound on, "What does one man and one marriage means?" We are not the Mormons who conveniently allowed polygamy for their own lustful desires.

Again, changing the laws on marriage does not save us. Christ saves us.

"But, wait a second!", you exclaimed, "Most of the men in the Old Testament--the ones we call the heroes of the faith--had multiple wives!"

So what you are telling me is that all the men born of Adam sinned against a holy and just God.

God never allowed sin--but in his compassion on us, in his law, he knew that we would sin in this way and made provisions in order to protect women and children from the effects of multiple marriages, adultery, and divorce.

God is not the author of sin. He does ordain it. But ultimately he solves the problem of evil. The solution is Christ our Savior.

25.3 From the Bridegroom: Equally Yoked Between Husband & Wife

It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry, who are able with judgment to give their consent; yet it is the duty of Christians to marry in the Lord; and therefore such as profess the true religion, should not marry with infidels, or idolaters; neither should such as are godly, be unequally yoked, by marrying with such as are wicked in their life, or maintain damnable heresy.

Hebrews 13:4 (CSB) Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.

1 Timothy 4:3 (CSB) They forbid marriage and demand abstinence from foods that God created to be received with gratitude by those who believe and know the truth.

1 Corinthians 7:39 (CSB) A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord.

Nehemiah 13:25–27 (CSB) I rebuked them, cursed them, beat some of their men, and pulled out their hair. I forced them to take an oath before God and said, “You must not give your daughters in marriage to their sons or take their daughters as wives for your sons or yourselves! Didn’t King Solomon of Israel sin in matters like this? There was not a king like him among many nations. He was loved by his God, and God made him king over all Israel, yet foreign women drew him into sin. Why then should we hear about you doing all this terrible evil and acting unfaithfully against our God by marrying foreign women?”

Dating culture today is a train wreck of the highest order. The truest statement I have ever seen was a meme that simply stated, "To those who are married: does it not feel like we caught the last chopper out of 'Nam?"

Truer words never spoken.

To that end, aside from people choosing to remain single, we have a generation of people who desire to be married but are getting older and older with no prospects in sight.

And the internet with social media and dating apps, was mankind's Babel-like attempt to bring people closer together in hopes of curing loneliness. It did not. It has gotten a lot worse.

To the Christian single, the temptation of being a tad more flexible when it comes to "being equally yoked" to "at least they go to church... once in their lives" to "they are basically decent" to "whatever."

Because loneliness is real. And the sadness and grief from that is real. And it does not help that the American church has made an idol of marriage as the next level status of the Christian. Some people got to that level. But the single Christians? They are junior varsity Christians.

I have no pat answers. I am not here to patronize anyone. When I was single, I sucked at it. I am talking about as a Christian single, I sucked at it. And I regret my decisions made during my singleness.

I wish I wish I wish I was more in love with my Christ and had better desires to just look upon his face instead of everything that I have ever done.

But if I could do that perfectly--turn from my sin and run to Jesus, then I wouldn't need the Holy One of God who loved me and gave his life up for me.

25.4 From the Bridegroom: Marriage is of Man & Wife

Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity, forbidden in the Word; nor can such incestuous marriages ever be made lawful, by any law of man or consent of parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife.

Leviticus 18 (CSB) The LORD spoke to Moses: “Speak to the Israelites and tell them: I am the LORD your God. Do not follow the practices of the land of Egypt, where you used to live, or follow the practices of the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. You must not follow their customs. You are to practice my ordinances and you are to keep my statutes by following them; I am the LORD your God. Keep my statutes and ordinances; a person will live if he does them. I am the LORD. “You are not to come near any close relative for sexual intercourse; I am the LORD. You are not to violate the intimacy that belongs to your father and mother. She is your mother; you must not have sexual intercourse with her. You are not to have sex with your father’s wife; she is your father’s family. You are not to have sexual intercourse with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s, whether born at home or born elsewhere. You are not to have sex with her. You are not to have sexual intercourse with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter, for they are your family. You are not to have sexual intercourse with your father’s wife’s daughter, who is adopted by your father; she is your sister. You are not to have sexual intercourse with your father’s sister; she is your father’s close relative. You are not to have sexual intercourse with your mother’s sister, for she is your mother’s close relative. You are not to violate the intimacy that belongs to your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual intercourse; she is your aunt. You are not to have sexual intercourse with your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife; you are not to have sex with her. You are not to have sexual intercourse with your brother’s wife; she is your brother’s family. You are not to have sexual intercourse with a woman and her daughter. You are not to marry her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter and have sex with her. They are close relatives; it is depraved. You are not to marry a woman as a rival to her sister and have sexual intercourse with her during her sister’s lifetime. “You are not to approach a woman during her menstrual impurity to have sexual intercourse with her. You are not to have sexual intercourse with your neighbor’s wife, defiling yourself with her. “You are not to sacrifice any of your children in the fire to Molech. Do not profane the name of your God; I am the LORD. You are not to sleep with a man as with a woman; it is detestable. You are not to have sexual intercourse with any animal, defiling yourself with it; a woman is not to present herself to an animal to mate with it; it is a perversion. “Do not defile yourselves by any of these practices, for the nations I am driving out before you have defiled themselves by all these things. The land has become defiled, so I am punishing it for its iniquity, and the land will vomit out its inhabitants. But you are to keep my statutes and ordinances. You must not commit any of these detestable acts—not the native or the alien who resides among you. For the people who were in the land prior to you have committed all these detestable acts, and the land has become defiled. If you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it has vomited out the nations that were before you. Any person who does any of these detestable practices is to be cut off from his people. You must keep my instruction to not do any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you, so that you do not defile yourselves by them; I am the LORD your God.”

Mark 6:18 (CSB) John had been telling Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.”

1 Corinthians 5:1 (CSB) It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and the kind of sexual immorality that is not even tolerated among the Gentiles—a man is sleeping with his father’s wife.

Here's the brass tax, the nitty gritty, where the rubber meets the road.

Marriage is between one man and one woman. We are married, we are to leave the safe bosom of our parents and be joined with our spouse and become one flesh.

No roaming eyes. No roaming affections. No harmless flirting. No emotional messages back and forth. One heart, one mind, one will, and one love for one another.

Anything outside of that stands damned before the Holy Triune God.

But you have failed. And I promise you, I have failed harder in marriage then you have.

God did not look upon us doing marriage and singleness perfectly well. He looked upon and saw that we were screwing it up every which way.

God designed marriage. Perfect, good, and holy. And we jack it up. But that didn't stop from God the Father giving over the perfect, radiant, beautiful Bride--the holy apostolic and catholic church--over to his Son by the almighty power of the Holy Spirit.

We don't know what perfect marriage is. But we will, one day, when we are joined with him forever.

John 10:25-30 (CSB) “I did tell you and you don’t believe,” Jesus answered them. “The works that I do in my Father’s name testify about me. But you don’t believe because you are not of my sheep. My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”