Romans 8:23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

My mother abandoned me when I was five years old and I never seen her since. My father physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually abused me when I was a child. While I have “grown” physically, my heart and my emotional growth stunted to that of a child. It is only by the grace of God and the beautiful love and patience of my wonderful wife and friends that I have emotionally matured in the last couple of years.  However, despite that growth, I have a long ways to go before I can considered myself emotionally mature.

It has been seven years since God has saved me. And while I don’t know the proper commentary definition of this passage, I know that it resonates heavily with my soul.

It is because I have the Spirit of God within me, I am a child of God. And because His Spirit within in, these are ideas that shape my soul:

Oh, how I longed for a Parent who would not abandoned me but be with me.

Oh, how I desperately wanted a Father who would not hurt me or abused me, but rather, make me feel safe and love me tenderly.

Instead of being the oldest brother in trying to protect my brothers and sisters, oh how I would trade everything I had to have an Older Brother that would watch out for me, love me, and protect me from destruction.

Oh, how I need guidance, wisdom, understand, knowledge, comfort, and love. Wouldn’t you know that God gives us all those things and more through His Son by the power of the Holy Spirit.

And by that same Spirit who raised Christ from the dead, I have the power to cry out for my Father, “Father, I’m hurt. Please make it better. Please take away this pain and torment. Please wipe away my tears. Please make everything right.”

Wait eagerly? That would be an incredible understatement, Paul. I would give anything to have to be completely, wholly, holy, one with my Savior and Lord. I want to be in His Presence and tangibly know that everything perfectly all right. I need to have that bond between me and God to be impervious to disconnections and dissolution.  I need it all.

I cry out to my God and Lord and Father and Savior and Love and Spirit: “Make this right. Heal my wounds. Change my mind. Fill my heart. Restore my soul!”

There is nothing else ever to ever that would have the ability, the will, and the want to answer my call except one: God Almighty.  And God answered my prayers. I wanted God, I cry out to God and therefore I get God. That thought boggles my mind. How else can I respond to such incredible love but lift my eyes to heaven, attempt to look in the face of God, and say, “Thank you for loving me.”