Before you were born, I would look at your beautiful, gorgeous mom and I would look at myself and kept thinking, “What is Elijah going to look like?” Most of all, what is Elijah going to be like—as a baby, a toddler, a kid, a teenager, an adult and even an old man. I was so curious about your life and all the possibilities therein.
I know this much to be true: I loved you. I loved you so much. I had my mind made up. I had my heart turned to you. And everything that I did in my life was done so that I could have that wonderful chance of pouring out my love on you.
I love you, buddy. Do you know that? I love you and I will always love you. You can’t do anything to cause me to love you less. In fact, when I get to know you more, I love you more. And I know you more and more as the days go on. That can only mean I love you more as the days go on.
You were born in a very special time of my life. Before you were born, I didn’t know or love God. In fact, your brother, Yusef, was born when I was dead in my trespasses and at war with Him. I look back at my life as I didn’t love God, didn’t love others well, and I certainly did not love or raise your brother well.
But by God’s grace alone, He saved me. He took out my old stony, crap-filled heart and gave me his soft, tender heart. He pulled the darkness out of my mind and now, my mind truly knows Him. He called out to me in the midst of my dying and death and gave me His life.
In other words, you are the first child that God has given me since being saved by Him. Because of that, I not only see your life but your life in all of eternity. I see you clearly because God has given me eyes to see. I hear you because God has given me ears to hear. I love you because God has given me his soft, tender heart of love.
I look into your beautiful dark blue eyes and cry with joy for the good things God has done in us.
I love you, little boy. You are my baby boy. And all of God’s grace, goodness, wisdom, and strength alone, I will raise you up and see you to become a lover of God.
I love you. For now and always, I love you.
From your spoiling Daddy,